Short Shorts: Rules of Thumb

Short shorts are a great way to show off and cool off.  Everyone's been sporting it lately. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone. Needless to say, I have seen things that I should not have seen in a million years.  So for those who have the penchant for wearing these ultrasexy bottoms, here are some simple do's and don't's to avoid any unsightly incidents:

1. Short shorts are an asset for short girls because they show quite a bit of thigh, thereby giving the illusion of height. I'm pretty short myself and this is one reason why I love them hot pants. Just look at Hayden Panettiere:

Werk it

Even though her lower leg is pretty short, the presence of so much thigh makes it hardly noticeable.  So if you're of the same height, it means that you can go really short without looking like a hooker. The lack of height means too much leg still isn't too much. Then again, there's this:

Bringing us to our don't: Don't wear shorts that will show the underside of your buttocks. I don't think I need to explain this one.

Unless you really wanna show it. And you're Megan Fox.

2. Tall people can wear short shorts, too.  Models look good in it (moot point; they look good in everything), and it highlights what short people don't have: height. Legs that go on forever? You can achieve them with short shorts.  Now the thing here is since you are tall, you will also have the problem that short people won't have: too much leg.  In the States, people won't care. But in the Philippines, believe me, they would.  Rule of thumb: If you're extremely tall, don't go extremely short.  The safest length is a little less than half of your thigh.

Hoe Couture

This is how you do it

Going longer won't deduct sexy points, either. As shown here:

It's classy and chic, and it will get you the attention that you want (and it's definitely not from rapists).

3. Then there is the matter of "width", also known as the amount of meat your legs have. We have the super skinny, skinny, just right, curvy, and um, curvier. Skinny and just right-legged girls won't have a lot of problems with the type of shorts that they want to wear. But for super skinny and curvy girls, they might have to do a bit of picking.

A lot of super skinny girls make the mistake of choosing supposedly figure-hugging short shorts. The thing is, there is no figure to hug, leaving us with what I call the "chopsticks" look.

No.

It's not sexy. In fact, it looks slightly anorexic (and if you're thinking that there's nothing wrong with anorexic, then there's something wrong with you). If you'd like to insist on wearing hot pants though, you should probably look for those that would give you more mass in the hip and upper thigh area.  Try shorts with the out-pockets, like this:

I bought this at Robinson's Novaliches - P50

I am in no way a super skinny girl, so when I wear these, they make me look like I've gained 3 pounds. They're a bit too suffocating for me because of my meaty legs, so it would work just right on those that need a little oomph. Additional rule: it goes without saying that you should try the shorts on before you buy them. Do not be fooled by the sizes stamped on them. Remember, all shorts aren't cut from the same pattern.

For curvy girls on the other hand, how short shorts fit you would be a matter of how curvy you are. There are muffin tops and cellulite (everybody has cellulite; it's just a matter of hiding them) to think of. 

I don't suppose you were aiming for this.

 Regularly, I'd advise high-waisted bottoms for tummy flab, just to cinch it all in, as long as you're ready to compromise the length.

Not bad.

This would automatically get rid of prominent problem areas and would avoid this:

Simply put, you have to know your body and make the garment fit you and not the other way around. That way, you get to wear what you want without sacrificing how you feel about yourself.